Getting Through Deployment
Posted on 18. Mar, 2010 by thumper6423 in General, Military Life
It’s not always easy to love a soldier. He’s married to you of course, but the Army is his demanding mistress. You will many times make plans only to be told the day or even hours before that your plans have suddenly changed. This lack of communication and planning on the part of the Army is more often than not annoying at best. Aneurysm inducing at its worst. Your spouse will miss birthdays, anniversaries, and maybe even the birth of a child.
How do we get through it? So many times I get asked, “how do you manage him being gone?” Honestly, until about eighteen months ago, I didn’t know any different. His job was such that he was always gone. Before kids one of us was always working. After kids, his work continued at its frenetic pace, and the Army threw in a deployment just for a change of scenery. A house we bought in early 2004 my husband had only spent about 30 days actually occupying the residence with us until October of 2005.
At that point, we didn’t know any different. We only had our oldest son at the time. He was three years old when my husband was deployed. His entire life I was his constant, and Daddy was sometimes there and sometimes not. We surrounded ourselves with supportive friends, family, neighbors, and an awesome babysitter. I also enlisted the help of Zoloft and some sedatives so I could sleep more than forty-five minutes a night. Honestly, getting through the time he was gone was easy.
What they don’t prepare you for is when your soldier comes home. You’re both changed people. You’re used to solely running your household. Any children you have are used to you running the household. Your soldier is used to living in a combat environment. You’ve both been living under high stress situations for a year or more.How this changes each family is different. Some wives pack everything up, leave, and file for divorce while their soldier is still gone. Most of us signed up for the long haul, and we fight for our families and our marriages. I honestly think it took us just as long as he was gone to settle back into a comfortable routine for all of us again after he came home. It was a long adjustment to get back to “normal,” but it was worth it.
Would I trade my life? No. I love my husband. He just happens to have a job where I’m sometimes (sometimes frequently) required to give him up so he can help serve others and a greater good.
Author: Amanda of Household Six
3 Responses to “Getting Through Deployment”
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Twitter: singlemama_cc
18 March 2010 at 12:10 pm #
*hugs*
Great post…thanks for sharing!
Twitter: armywives101
23 March 2010 at 11:32 pm #
I agree I truly believe that probably the hardest part(after having him leave) was the readjustment period when he came home. It can be kind of weird at 1st and take some getting used to again.
Great post!
That kind of change is one of my biggest worries about deployments– learning how to be married again could be so hard. It was hard enough the first time!